Am I drowning?

At least that's what it feels like. You hear the words "we have to let you go" from your superiors and it triggers that life flashing in front of you thing. All of the sudden your basic human fight or flight instinct is subdued. They have you cornered, all while wearing business casual attire and sitting at a conference table. If I was not married, or engaged, I wouldn't have been as upset as I was. All I could imagine was my wife in distress, wondering what was going to happen next, what if we had a child and she wasnt working. What if we had a mortgage to pay off. What if, what if, what if, but...SLAP... WAKE UP. I've realised that you can't do that in life. Your main focus gets blurred and the more time you waste bullshitting and fighting and struggling over it, the less of a chance you are going to hit your eventual target.

If I were to fight, here's what would have happened...probably: I'd swear, insult and feel like assaulting the people who are throwing me in the garbage. Well, ok, I think that is a normal reaction...anyways, the bottom line is, I probably wouldn't have gotten my severance package! Hah, I was going to milk it for all it was worth! And if I were to fly? Same shit. The best part is when they say "please, when you go back to your desk, don't say anything about this". I'm going to be honest with you, I'm too much of a good guy, I accepted with a smile as if my hands were cuffed and complied. I should have made a scene. I did good work that week, I was going over the rest of my colleagues' logs, closing them out. I was doing THEIR work as my assignment. Did I mind? Nope, I was making money, and comfortable. Summer had JUST begun.

Sob sob sob, right? Well, look, the way I see it, you have to take the good with the bad in life. You have to cry sometimes in order to bring happiness back again. Of course there's going to be an emotional breakdown. It will go away. Eventually.

More on my layoff story later on...what do you do when you get laid off?

First off, HR doesn't tell you a thing about this (at least not to me, nor did they tell a friend of mine when she got let go from another cosmetics company), but you should apply for your state unemployment insurance right away. Once the form is completed, you have a one week waiting period and then the cash starts flowing in. Don't get too excited, it's not exactly the sexy numbers you were once making but, let's be serious for a second, it is a generous amount.

Next, get your resume in shape. You can go on craigslist and look at others' resumes to get some ideas but be cautious- look at them all but take into consideration only those with more professional backgrounds- these are the people who most likely paid for their resumes (you too should probably pay, but give this a try first).

There are many sites out there which offer guidelines or free advice, just do it. You'll thank me later. Don't procrastinate- I know that t.v. is looking good, and there's SO much to do on Facebook, but make time for it later. From the time you wake up in the morning (7 am) until the late afternoon (4-6 pm), kick your ass and freakin' market yourself. If you can't make this time frame, just do the best you can, remember it's OK.

So, for now, that's my first bit of advice. Fix/update your resume and get it ready for the next bit of work that will take up most of your time.

Now, take a breath, chill out. Keep focused and your target clearly in sight. Also, don't discount that "Secret" stuff or those laws of attraction, they are not all bullshit. If you keep something in your focus, you can make things happen. No, things are not just going to materialize in front of you, but when you allow yourself to seriously focus on a positive "something" that you want or need, you make it happen and it eventually appears in front of you. No, not out of thin air, but it will come to you. "If you build it, they will come". If you think it, it will happen- I promise you that. It won't kill you to believe it.

Do not forget that, in order for this to actually work you must be true to yourself. You cannot be completely panic free. You NEED a little fire under your ass- this doesn't mean that you have to get nasty or be a negative person- you just have to have a strong drive. I thought my drive was strong and that I was focused but as I've recently noticed- boy, was I wrong.

How do I know I was wrong?
I'm going to eventually need a car- my 1999 Mustang Coupe with a 3.8 v6 is in great condition, but it's nearing the end of it's era with me. I've had it since 2000 and it's been nothing but a GREAT car. So many memories have happened in it, it's like home to me, I love it dearly but it's nearing 200,000 miles and we've been talking about starting a family. So, if that's the case- I have to get something with 4-doors. We were thinking about an SUV but, first of all, you have to think of the maintenance costs (parts moreso than maintenance), and secondly its just SO much car - do we REALLY need a 7 passenger? I mean, how much room do you truly need? If I can fit an entire PA system in my wife's 2007 Mazda3 (2 powerd 800 watt yamahas, cables, soundboard, stands, instruments), then for sure a baby isnt going to take up that space. I already have the car picked out and the reluctant "ok" from my best friend (the wife, naturally). But uh, problem. I need a job. Just the thought of a little one has made me a little nutty, compounded with the idea that I'm going to get a car- my philosophy suddenly became "job, car, eventually kid, job, car, eventually kid". Finally, after 8 months of sending resumes out, I've gotten responses. I just put that extra effort in my work and stepped on the gas. What did I do differently? Well, that's all to come, but the moral of my story: If you believe in yourself, you'll make it happen.

It's happening to me, right now.